A Dog and Pony Show
by Dede42
Summary: When Rarity receives an important dress order, she recruits Spike's help to look for gems to put on her dresses, and it becomes complicated when she is kidnapped by creatures called Diamond Dogs. Can Spike and her friends save her or will she be doomed to find gems for the Diamond Dogs forever?
1. Chapter 1: THE GEM HUNT

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: A Dog and Pony Show

A/N: (Rarity enters the writers studio and finds Sunrise Blossom at a table, mixing up potions.)

Rarity: Where's Dede42?

Sunrise Blossom: She's in bed with another stomach bug and Applejack is nursing her back to health with Granny Smith's soup. Hopefully she'll be back on her feet by Monday, so I'm going to be posting for her today and over the weekend to keep Roleplayer48 entertained so he doesn't get bored.

Rarity: The poor dear, I hope she does get better for her two jobs. What are you working on, Sunrise?

Sunrise Blossom: Mixing up some potions, including the potion that'll help me type. Providing that Lyra doesn't steal it again.

Rarity: I've never understood why fans choose the strangest things to obsess over. Why do they think Lyra is obsess with humans?

Sunrise Blossom: (shrugs) I have no idea. Ever since that one scene in _Dragonshy_ , those types of fanfics have been popping up.

Rarity: I know what you mean, darling. They're too weird.

Sunrise Blossom: (turns to the camera) So don't worry too much about Dede42, Roleplayer48, Rarity and I got things covered here.

Rarity: Enjoy the story and we'll post more either today or tomorrow at some point.

Read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from _My Little Pony: Magic is Friendship_. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

* * *

 **CHAPTER ONE: THE GEM HUNT**

It was another beautiful day in Ponyville and Rarity was busy in her boutique with working on a new outfit to grace the streets with. She magically extracted the las two gems from a nearby chest and carefully placed them on the outfit. "Perfect!" she declared when the doorbell rang to indicate that somepony had just entered her shop. She magically closed the curtain on her latest creation and turned to greet the potential customer.

"Coming! Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique," she said in her best hostess voice and gasped when she saw a yellow pony with blue/white mane and tail, and yellow eyes, recognizing her instantly. "Sapphire Shores! The pony of pop!"

"Good afternoon, Miss Rarity!" said Sapphire Shores cheerfully, trotting past the stunned unicorn.

Rarity blinked and stammered. "You yah… Y-y-you know my name?" she asked, finding her voice.

"Well, of course I do, darling," said the pop star, examining some of the outfits on display. "I make it a point to know all of the up-and-coming designers and _Clothes Horse_ magazine simply raved about _you_."

"Oh my stars," said Rarity, doing her best not to faint. "If I'm dreaming, do not wake me up. How may I help you, Miss Shores?" she asked, pulling herself together.

"Oh please, call me Sapphire," said Sapphire Shores pleasantly.

Rarity giggled nervously. "How may I help you, Sapphire?"

"Well, as I'm sure you know, I'll be touring all of Equestria with my latest concert," Sapphire Shores explained. " _Sapphire Shores' Ziegfilly Follies_ , so I need to look _seeensational_! _Ow_!"

"I have just what you need," said Rarity, recalling the outfit she'd finished moments ago, and she went to the curtain. "Sapphire Shores, prepare yourself for the pièce de résistance de la haute couture." She magically opened the curtain to reveal a white Elvis-like outfit that was ruffled on the cuffs, and covered with all kinds of gems. "I used every last diamond I found on this one garment."

Sapphire Shores gasped with utter delight. "And it is spectacular! I'll take it."

"Really?" Rarity asked, pleased.

"Oh yes, and five more, each done up in a different jewel," said the pop star, nodding with approval.

Rarity blinked, not sure that she heard that last part right. "Beg pardon?"

"Costume changes," said Sapphire Shores and she examined the outfit while Rarity glanced at her empty chest and then fainted. The pop star noticed this and chuckled. "Yes, I do have that effect on ponies."

* * *

After recovering from her fainting spell and confirming the order with Sapphire Shores, Rarity recruited Spike in helping her find more gems for the five outfits she needed to make for the pop star. And the baby dragon was eager to help, especially since she'd promised to reward him with gems, and because he still had a serious crush on the grey unicorn.

* * *

"Oh my gosh! Sapphire Shores!" Spike exclaimed while pulling his red wagon and following Rarity, who was using a special spell to track down gems. "The pony of pop! She is awesome! I mean, she's gorgeous and talented and — heh…" he chuckled nervously when the grey unicorn shot him a look, "and not even half the pony you are. I mean, you're ten times more gorgeous and talented and-"

"Spike, a lady is never jealous," Rarity gently scolded him before resuming her search for gems.

"Eh, of course not," said the baby dragon quickly. "But were you totally flipping out or what?!"

Rarity chuckled. "Ladies do not "flip out", Spike," she corrected him. "However, I was quite in awe. Oh, I need to find more jewels than ever before to decorate her costumes." Her horn brightened and on the ground, an image of gems briefly appeared. "Oh, aha!"

Spike hurried over to her side. "Did you find some?" he asked eagerly.

"Yes, Spike!" said Rarity, pointing to the spot. "Right there!"

Spike began digging and soon he uncovered a small pile of various gems. "Ooooo!" he said, scooping them up and he began to drool. "You look so delicious…"

"Spike!" Rarity snapped. "I promised I'd give you gems to snack on, but we need to collect more first or I'll never be able to make these outfits for Sapphire," she added.

Spike sighed and carried them over to the wagon. "Hm… I will miss you, my sweets." And he placed them inside with a sad expression.

"Come along, Spike," said Rarity as her horn began glowing again, and she began walking again. "We have many jewels to find."

Spike nodded and he followed her with the wagon. "At your service, milady," he said and when she found more gems, he once again dug into the ground and popped out with an armful of gems. When it looked like he was going to eat-

"Spike!"

Wincing, the baby dragon put them in the wagon and for the next four hours, he alternated between digging with his claws, and using his tail as either a shovel or a jackhammer.

* * *

It wasn't long before the wagon was filled with all kinds of gems and Spike was staring at them longingly, licking his lips.

"You've been very patient today, Spike," Rarity said and he looked at her. "And for that you get the finest reward." She magically selected a large blue sapphire and gave it to him. "This is from me to you," she told him and the baby dragon held the gem with an amazed expression on his face. "Is something wrong, Spike?" she asked.

Spike shook his head and held the gem close. "No. It's _perfect_."

Rarity smiled and then her horn began glowing, which meant that her spell had found for gems. "Ooo, bring the cart, Spike. There are more over here." And she followed the spell.

Spike looked at the gem with a dreamy expression on his face. "For me. From Rarity," he whispered before tucking the gem under his arm to eat later, and pulled the wagon after the grey unicorn.

Unknown to either Spike or Rarity, they were being watched from the nearby bushes, and a pair of gray dog-like paws pulled the bushes apart so that the owner could spy on the baby dragon and the wagon full of gems.

"Yesss, gemsss," said the creature, sounding a lot like Gollum from _Lord of the Rings_. "Gemsss!"

"Where?" asked a second creature.

The first creature pointed to the pile of gems in the wagon being pulled by Spike. "Preciousss gemsss!" it hissed excitedly. "He is the gem hunter. With him we can have all those gems… and more! Let's get the dragon." And it closed the gap in the bushes with the intent of going after the baby dragon.

"Spike!" Rarity called out. "Where are you?"

The creature immediately pulled apart the bushes again. "Wait! Who is that?" it wondered and then it saw the unicorn with the glowing horn.

"You know, it's terrible to keep a lady waiting," Rarity said in a mild scolding manner as her horn pinpointed another spot containing gems.

Spike quickly parked the wagon and began digging. "Coming!"

"I think we're really going to strike gold this time," Rarity remarked with a giggle. "So to speak."

Spike jumped out of the hole with his arms filled with all kinds of gems, and it was the biggest batch yet. "Jackpot!"

"Oh, it's not the dragon we want," said the creature, practically drooling. "It's the pony! The pony…" And it shut the bushes once again.

* * *

Rarity went back to the wagon with the baby dragon, who was carefully adding the new batch of gems to the ones they already had. "Well, Spike, I think that's all we can do for today," she announced, pleased with their success. "And these will certainly get me well on my way with Sapphire's outfits." She turned to go when her horn began glowing brighter then before. "Why don't we start headi… Oh!" she gasped and followed the glow. "What's this? Another jewel. Oh.. Oh, strange. It's in the trees." She peered up through the leaves to see a yellow topaz. Oooo… Ewww!" she yelped and jumped backwards as the owner of the topaz popped out of the tree to reveal that it was a light gray dog-like creature with light green eyes, wore a black collar with diamonds, and a green vest whose pockets were filled with gems. "Uh… uh… Good day, gentle… uh, fellow," she stammered as it stalked toward her. Uh, I am Rarity and this is my friend Spike."

Spike nervously waved as he and the unicorn backed away from the creature. "Ehe…"

"And you are?" Rarity asked, doing her best to be politely despite being terrified.

"A Diamond Dog," the creature answered in its' Gollum voice.

"Oh really? Oh well, that explains your fine taste in jewelry," Rarity remarked "I mean I-I-I know that diamonds are a girl's best friend and now I know that they're a dog's best friend too, ha ha ha. So, um," she coughed politely "you're out hunting for gems as well?"

The Diamond Dog nodded, still stalking toward them. "Yes. We hunt."

"Uh… we?" Rarity repeated, confused.

"We hunt for gems," said the Diamond Dog as two mounds of dirt behind his targets shifted as the other two Diamond Dogs dug upward. "But you are a better hunter. So now we hunt… for you!"

Rarity screamed when the two Diamond Dogs popped out of the ground and grabbed her, only to have Spike jackhammer their tails, making them both yelped and he chased after them while they dropped the unicorn and ran. "Yaaaaah!" he yelled after them, only to be shoved halfway into the ground by the biggest Diamond Dog. "Run, Rarity! Run!" he called out and she ran while he grabbed the leg of one of the Diamond Dogs, preventing him from going after the unicorn. "Aaaah! Uh!"

Rarity fled and looked back when she saw that the baby dragon wasn't following her. "Spike! Come on! Hurry!" she called out.

Just then, the first Diamond Dog jumped out of a hole he'd dug and grabbed her. "Gotcha!"

Rarity screamed and struggled in the creature's grip. "Waah! _Spike_!"

"Got him, Rarity!" Spike shouted, unaware that his friend had been captured. "I got him!"

However, the Diamond Dog yanked his leg upward, pulling the baby dragon out of the ground and threw him into the air so that his top spikes were stuck in the tree branch. "Haha! Nope!"

"Sorry, scaly one," sneered the third Diamond Dog, and they both ran after the first Diamond Dog, who was dragging the screaming unicorn toward a nearby hole.

Spike saw this, yanked himself free, and he raced after them. "Wait! Rarity?"

"Unhand me this instant, you ruffians!" Rarity shouted, fighting against the Diamond Dogs, determined to break free as they jumped into the hole. "Stop! Put me down, you thugs! You brutes!"

The baby dragon gasped, running even faster. "Rarity!"

Just then, Rarity appeared out of the hole, having managed to break free and was trying to crawl out. "Spike! Ah, dirt!" she yelped when she got dirty, and then screamed when the Diamond Dogs grabbed her and pulled her into the hole. " _Aaaaah, Spiiiike_!"

Spike reached the hole and peered down inside, trying to find his missing friend. "Which, what, where?"

" _Save me_ …!" screamed Rarity's fading voice.

" _Nooooooooooo_!" Spike wailed, realizing that he was too late and that he needed help, so he ran back toward Ponyville.

Will Spike get help in time to save Rarity from the Diamond Dogs?

* * *

A/N: Ooh, I've forgotten just how rude those Diamond Dogs were.

Sunrise Blossom: I know, they were rude and they were bullies. R&R everyone!


	2. Chapter 2: OPERATION: RESCUE RARITY!

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: A Dog and Pony Show

A/N: (Lyra sneaks into the writers studio by way of the special door, using her magic to carry a container of soup, and she looks around as she heads for the main door to go outside.)

Lyra: No pony is here. Good.

Sunrise Blossom: (pops up from behind one of the comfy chairs) _Hello_ , Lyra!

Lyra: (jumps and the container flies away, but is magically caught by Rarity, who sneaks in by way of the special door, too) Eep! Where did you come from?

Sunrise Blossom: I was sharing Roleplayer48's review with Dede42, and when I saw that you were planning on bringing over soup, I decided to be here when you arrived. Now, about the potion you took from me…

Lyra: (pleads) Please don't hate me! I've been reading those fanfics about me being fascinated with humans, and when I heard about the potion you made to give yourself fingers so you could type, I just couldn't resist trying it out! What can I do to make it up to you?

Sunrise Blossom: (glances at Rarity) What do you think, Rarity? How can Lyra make up for stealing my potion?

Rarity: (thinks for a moment) Hmm, well since Dede42 is still recovering, Lyra can do her chores around the house and in the front garden.

Lyra: I can do it! I can do it!

Sunrise Blossom: (nods) Ok, Lyra, once you deliver the soup to Dede42, you can start on the chores.

Lyra: Thank you, and I won't steal from you ever again, Sunrise! I promise!

Rarity: (gives the soup container back to Lyra and turns to Sunrise Blossom as Lyra heads out to go to the house) Well, I think that was a good lesson that Lyra just learned.

Sunrise Blossom: Yup.

Read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from _My Little Pony: Magic is Friendship_. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

* * *

 **CHAPTER TWO: OPERATION: RESCUE RARITY!**

Spike raced back into town, almost knocking over a few ponies in his rush to get to the library, where he found Twilight Sparkle, Sunrise Blossom, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie. The six ponies blinked at the baby dragon when he burst through the door out of breath.

"Spike, you ok?" Sunrise Blossom asked, concerned.

"Aaaah! Rarity… woods… jewels… dogs… hole… taken… _Save her_!" he screamed before face-platting on the floor unconscious.

The six ponies exchanged perplex expressions, unsure of what was just said, and they went to work on reviving the baby dragon to find out _exactly_ what was going on and where the heck Rarity was.

* * *

It took a half-hour, but they finally managed to wake Spike up and get him to focus on what he was trying to tell them earlier as they raced back to where Rarity had last been seen.

Twilight Sparkle glanced at Spike, who was now sitting on her back, doing the paper bag trick to get his breathing under control. "Spike, can you breathe now?" she asked.

Spike lowered the paper bag and nodded, still looking freaked. "Yes… I think so."

"Good," said Twilight Sparkle. "Now tell us what you know."

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash agreed, flying next to them. "'Cause all you said earlier was a lot of confusing words and something about Rarity."

Applejack nodded. "Not a whole lot to go on there, sport."

"Sorry," Spike apologized. "Rarity and I were in the woods looking for jewels when these creepy guys showed up."

"Creepy guys?" Sunrise Blossom repeated.

The baby dragon nodded. "They called themselves the Diamond Dogs," he explained. "They grabbed Rarity and disappeared down a hole in the ground."

"Well, this sounds mighty easy," Applejack remarked. "Just take us to that there hole and we'll save Rarity."

* * *

When they reached the area that Rarity had been abducted, they all skidded to a halt and gasped, for the whole area was covered with large holes, and even Spike wasn't sure which hole was the one that the Diamond Dogs had used to grab Rarity.

"Holy moly, that's a lotta holeys," said Pinkie Pie and no one disagree with her since she was right about the amount of holes.

"Come on, girls!" said Twilight Sparkle, running down the slope toward the field of holes. "Let's get started." And her friends followed as she reached one of the holes and peered inside. "Hello?" she called out, her voice echoing until something growled and a pair of eerie yellow eyes appeared, and her startled gasp turning into gagging when she was suddenly hit in the face by an eruption of dirt that sealed the opening. "Puh!"

The other five ponies and the baby dragon all got hit in the face with eruption of dirt filling in the holes they'd been peering into, and they looked around with horror as the holes were being filled all around them.

"Quick!" Twilight Sparkle shouted, running toward a hole that hadn't been filled in yet. "We gotta get down one before they're all filled up." And the ponies did try to get down one of the holes, but the Diamond Dogs were quick to fill them up, and they had an advantage since they were underground, most likely using tunnels to get around.

"We can't muscle through it!" Applejack shouted, frustrated.

Rainbow Dash wasn't about to give up and did a dive-bombing run toward a hole. "We'll see about that." And just when it looked like she was going to get inside, the hole, she ended up colliding with a pile of dirt instead and she groaned. " _So close_."

"Whew. Heavens to Betsy," said Applejack, shaking off the dirt. "Now I'm used to pickin' myself up and dustin' myself off, but Rarity won't even _touch_ mud 'less it's imported."

The ponies nodded, already imaging what Rarity was enduring, knowing her need for being clean would be sorely tested by being underground. "Oh, Rarity…"

* * *

 _Rarity was in a cell, pacing around in frustration. "Oh, woe is me!" she sighed dramatically. "Whatever shall I do?" She then stepped into a bit of dirt and she panicked. "Ah! Dirt, dirt! Get away, dirt!" She tried to shake the dirt off, but she ended up running into the walls, and she was soon covered with dirt. "Oh! Make it stop, make it stop! Ah! Filthy, disgusting dirt. It stings, it burns. Help! Oh, somepony save me, save me!"_

* * *

Applejack shuddered at the image. "We gotta save her."

"But they blocked up all the holes," Fluttershy pointed out.

Applejack climbed up onto one of the piles. "Don't mean we can't dig 'em out," she reminded her friends, and she began digging. "Come on!"

* * *

Soon the six ponies and the baby dragon were busy digging into the piles of dirt, determined to save their friend, however it turned out the Diamond Dogs had other ideas. The next thing the ponies knew, they were being pranked by the Diamond Dogs, who were popping out of the piles, grabbing and yanking the tails of the ponies and tripping up Spike.

"Ow!"

"Oof!"

"Hey!"

"Whoa! Oof!"

"Get 'em!"

"Whoooaaa!"

"Come on!"

* * *

After about an hour of being terrorized by the Diamond Dogs, the six ponies and the baby dragon were grunting and panting, exhausted by trying to stop the Diamond dogs, and having failed to get into any of the holes.

"All those scary monsters popping up everywhere," Fluttershy complained. "Oh, poor Rarity must be terrified." And they were soon imagining what kinds of horrors their friend was enduring.

* * *

 _Rarity was in the middle of a cave and she freaked out when the Diamond Dogs kept popping out of nowhere, demanding different things._

" _Give me the baubles!"_

" _Ah!"_

" _Give me the beads!"_

" _Aah!"_

" _Where are the trinkets?!"_

" _Aaaah!"_

" _Where is the treasure?!" the Diamond Dogs demanded and poor Rarity fainted._

* * *

"Poor Rarity," Twilight Sparkle sighed. "What are we gonna do?"

"I wish I knew," said Sunrise Blossom sadly. "But those blasted Diamond Dogs keep getting the drop on us, and all of the holes are filled."

Spike looked around and spotted a hole that hadn't been filled, which gave him an idea. "I got it!" he exclaimed, pulling out the gem that Rarity had give him, and he ran over to the hole, confusing the ponies, tying the gem to the end of a fishing rod. "I'll save you, my sweet."

The ponies joined him at the hole, just as the baby dragon began lowering the gem into the hole, like he was fishing. Twilight Sparkle was touched by what he was doing. "Spike, it is very noble of you…"

"Shhh!" Spike hissed.

"…to sacrifice the gem Rarity gave you," Twilight Sparkle whispered.

"Oh, Lady Rarity," Spike sighed, daydreaming. "My damsel in distress."

* * *

 _Sir Spike, who was tall and wearing a suit of arm with a spear, entered the liar of the Diamond Dogs. "I shall save you," he announced. "Show yourselves, you dogs! You curs!" And the Diamond Dogs appeared out of the shadows, growling. "Ah. There you are, you mangy mutts."_

" _Who are you calling mutts?" the leader of the Diamond Dogs growled. "Unleash the hounds!" And he blew a dog whistle._

 _Soon over a dozen Diamond Dogs, which were wearing armor, charged out of the tunnels and tried to attack the dragon, but he used his spear, his tail, and his fire breath to chase them back into the tunnels with their tails between their legs._

 _Sir Spike then confronted the three Diamond Dogs, who were cowering near a wall. "Now, where is Lady Rarity?" he demanded, and they pointed the correct way. He hurried through a tunnel and he soon found Rarity, dressed like a princess, waiting for him._

 _Lady Rarity gasped when she saw him. "Spike! I knew you would save me!"_

" _Nothing could stop me, milady," said Sir Spike, bowing._

 _Lady Rarity swoon for a moment. "Ohohohoh, Spike. You are my… hero," she whispered and shut her eyes as she made a kissing gesture with her lips._

 _Beaming, Sir Spike bent down so that he could kiss her. "Mmmmmm…"_

* * *

Applejack, who was standing near the baby dragon, chuckled when it looked like he was going to kiss her. "Hoho there, lover boy," she said and he flushed, embarrassed.

Suddenly the fishing line became taunt and nearly dragged Spike into the hole. "Whoa! Whoa whoa whoawhoawhoa… I got a bite! I got a bite!" he yelped, trying to reeling in whatever he'd caught.

Applejack grabbed the end of his tail with her teeth, trying to keep him from being dragged into the hole. "Hold on there, little fella," she grunted and she soon saw that she was going to be dragged into the hole with the baby dragon.

Twilight Sparkle ran forward and grabbed her friend's tail. "Applejack!" Only she started being dragged forward, too.

"Twilight!" Rainbow Dash grabbed the purple unicorn's tail, only to be dragged, too.

"Rainbow Dash!" Sunrise Blossom clamped her teeth onto the blue pegasus' tail, but despite her best efforts, she was also being dragged toward the hole.

Fluttershy quickly grabbed the orange unicorn's tail, but ended up being dragged forward instead. "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness…"

Pinkie Pie bounced forward and got the yellow pegasus' tail with her teeth. "Wait for me!" And she squealed when they were all dragged into the hole. "Whee!"

* * *

The group screamed as they were dragged through different kinds of tunnels with Pinkie Pie being the only one having fun, and they all eventually crashed onto the ground of a cavern filled with tunnel openings.

While the six ponies were grunting and getting up, Spike jumped to his feet, excited that his fishing trick worked. "Ha ha, it worked! We're in! Now we can finally save Rarity!"

Twilight Sparkle got onto her hooves and she looked around at the various tunnel openings. "Um… Which way do we go?" she wondered.

Spike looked around, too, and he was devastated. " _Nooooooooooo_!"

* * *

A/N: You know, it was a miracle you were able to find a way through those tunnels in order to save me.

Sunrise Blossom: I know, and those Diamond Dogs didn't make it easy either.

Rarity: (shudders) I know what you mean. Although that daydream of Spike's was cute.

Sunrise Blossom: Yup, Spike does have an activate imagination. R&R every pony!


	3. Chapter 3: RARITY VS THE DIAMOND DOGS

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: A Dog and Pony Show

A/N: Ok, this is going to be the last chapter for today and more tomorrow hopefully. (Starts singing "Who Let the Dogs Out?")

Read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from _My Little Pony: Magic is Friendship_. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

* * *

 **CHAPTER THREE: RARITY VS THE DIAMOND DOGS**

Spike was freaking out since he didn't know which tunnel to take in order to save Rarity, and the other ponies were trying to calm him down while Twilight Sparkle tried to figure out a way to find and rescue their missing friend as they started down one of the tunnels once the baby dragon wasn't freaking out anymore.

"All these tunnels… How are we ever gonna find Rarity?" the purple unicorn wondered.

"Guess we're just gonna have to start going down them one by one," Applejack suggested.

"That could take forever!" Rainbow Dash complained. "There's gotta be way to narrow it down."

Spike suddenly had an idea. "I know!" he exclaimed and felt like kicking himself for not figuring it out sooner. "I bet they've taken Rarity down the tunnel with the most gems."

"Makes sense since she knows the spell to find gems," Sunrise Blossom remarked.

"But Spike, Rarity is the only one who knows how to find gems," Twilight Sparkle reminded the baby dragon.

"No, Twilight. You can!" said Spike. "You can copy Rarity's gem-finding spell."

Twilight Sparkle blinked and realized that he was right. "Oh my gosh! You're right! Rarity showed me how she did it a while back," she recalled and began concentrating. "If I can just remember…" Soon her horn began glowing pink and caches of gems began appearing in the walls of the nearest tunnel, and there was a lot of gems.

"Good job, Twilight," said her twin sister.

"That's it. You did it, Twilight!" said the baby dragon, hopping on the purple unicorn's back. "Come on! We're coming, Rarity. We'll save you. Just hold on." And soon they were running down the tunnel, following the trail of hidden gems in the walls and the ground.

* * *

Meanwhile, Rarity was backing away from the Diamond Dogs, and ended up bumping into a wall as they cornered her. "Oh please, Diamond Dogs," she pleaded. "Please let me go."

"No!" said the Diamond Dog known as Spot.

"You're our precious little pony," said the Diamond Dog known as Fido.

"Forever! Muhahahaha!" the Diamond Dog leader known as Rover cackled in his Gollum voice.

Rarity whimpered. "But whatever do you want from me?"

"Gemsss!" Rover hissed.

"Yes!" Spot agreed eagerly. "The gems. The jewels."

"Find them!" Fido demanded. "Find them all!"

Rarity blinked and immediately calmed down. "Oh! Is that all?" she asked and used her spell to track down a cache of gems in the ground and magically used a stick to mark the spot with a large 'X'. "There. A lovely pocket of jewels are right there. Now, if you'd be so kind as to show me the exit?" she requested politely.

Rover ignored the request. "Good!" he laughed. "Now, dig them up, pony."

"What? But you said you wanted me to _find_ the gems," Rarity reminded him, not recalling anything about digging into the ground.

"Yes! Find and then dig," said Spot.

Rarity looked at them skeptically. "Dig?"

Fido nodded. "Yes. Dig."

Rarity did a long-suffering sigh and she began pawing at the ground, barely removing any dirt from the spot she'd marked. " _Ohh…"_

"What are you doing?" Fido demanded. "We said dig!"

"Forgive me, but prior to you so rudely dragging me into your dirt pit, I had a pony-pedi and I am not about to chip a hoof because you dislike my style of digging," Rarity scolded and she resumed gingerly pawing at the ground with her hoof.

Rover groaned and covered his face with one paw. "Oh, for goodness— Fine! Just stop. Stop!" he shouted, frustrated. "Dig, dogs! Dig! And fast," he ordered and several guard dogs began digging on the spot to get the gems out.

Fido held up a cart for the gems to be placed in and Spot held up a harness. "She won't dig, she pulls." And they immediately harnessed the startled unicorn to the wagon, which the newly uncovered gems were placed in.

"I beg your pardon, but what, pray tell, are you doing?" Rarity inquired, eying the harness that clearly hadn't been cleaned in a long time.

"Others will dig," Fido informed her. "You will haul the wagon."

"Prrrecious pony-pedi will be preserved," Spot added with a sneer.

Rarity wasn't thrilled by this turn of events. "Well, somebody certainly needs proper nail care," she grumbled, eying their ragged-looking claws and made a face as they messed up her coat. "When was the last time you two had a manicure? You're scratching up my coat with those jagged things!" she protested.

"Please be quiet!" Rover snapped, exposing her to his dog breath.

Rarity made a face. "Good heavens, what _is_ that smell?" she demanded.

" _Smeeeeeell_?" Rover repeated.

"Ah, mystery solved," said Rarity, wrinkling her nose at the smell. "It's your breath."

Rover checked his own breath and he could tell that she was right. He then shook his head, realizing that she was distracting him from the gems. "Enough! Search, pony!" he ordered.

Rarity sighed and she walked along the cavern, pulling the wagon and pinpointing more gem caches with her spell and a stick to mark the spots so that the guard dogs could dig, two of them getting pancaked by falling rocks. "Well, since you insist… But I must say the working conditions in here are simply dreadful," she complained, getting on the nerves of the three Diamond Dogs, which were following her. "Musty and damp, it's going to wreak havoc on my mane. And this air is stifling, suffocating. And when I try to take a deep breath, the stench of all you dogs makes me nauseated. You look and smell like you haven't bathed in weeks. Have you never heard of soap? You could all do with a good round of soap and water. Oh water, oh water, I'm terribly thirsty. Could I please have some water?"

"Good gracious, I can't take this anymore," Spot groaned, covering his ears with his paws. " _Be quiet, pony_!"

Rarity stopped walking and looked back at him, frowning. "And that's another thing. I would appreciate if you stopped calling me "pony"," she requested. "I am a _lady_ and I wish to be addressed as such. So you may call me "Miss" or "Rarity" or "Miss Rarity"."

"Enough!" Rover shouted. "Your whining! It-it-it hurts!"

"Whining?" Rarity repeated, offended. "I am _not_ whining. I am complaining. Do you want to hear whining?" And she began whining loudly. " _Thiiis iiis whiiining_! Oooh, this harness is too _tiiight_! It's going to _chafe_. Can't you _loosen_ it? Oooh, it hurts and it's _sooo ruuusty_! Why didn't you clean it first? It's gonna leave a _staaain_! And the wagon's getting _heeeavy_ , why do I _have to pull it_?!"

Spot began whimpering, clamming his paws over his ears, trying to block out the noise and it wasn't working. "Aaah! Make it stop!"

"Stop whining!" Rover pleaded.

" _But I thought you wanted whiiining_!" Rarity kept whining, and many of the dogs were fleeing, trying to escape the whining noise that was getting loud and louder with each passing second. _'A few more seconds of this, and I'm_ sure _they'll let me go.'_

Rover couldn't take it anymore and fell to the ground, groveling. "Geh! We'll do anything, pony!" he pleaded and when she fixed him with a hard look, he quickly amended his plea. "Oh, uh, uh, we'll do anything, "Miss Rarity"." And he laughed nervously.

"Anything?" Rarity asked dreamingly.

* * *

Soon, the various guard dogs were busy redecorating the cavern and fanning Rarity, who sighed after taking a sip of the water from a gold cup. "This water is hardly sparkling. But I suppose it will have to do," she remarked while the three main Diamond Dogs were busy hauling carts filled with gems across the ground.

Rover was panting as he dragged the cart and then he stopped suddenly. "Wait! Why are _we_ doing this?" he wondered.

"To stop the awful noises from the pony's mouth, remember?" Spot reminded him, pretending to whine.

"Yes, yes, I know," Rover grumbled and was having second thoughts about giving into the unicorn's demands like that. "This is ridiculous! Letting a pony order _us_ around. What are we? Mice or dogs?" he demanded.

Fido and Spot exchanged a look before stammering a mixed answer. "Mi… dogs?"

"Dogs do not pull," Rover growled, yanking off the harness. "Ponies pull. Let her make the awful noises."

* * *

Rarity was relaxing when she suddenly felt the harness being strapped back onto her back. "What are you doing?" she demanded as the cup was knocked aside. "Hey, you spilled my drink. Oh!" She began whining. " _Not sooo tiiight_!"

"Ha! Make the noises all you want," Rover sneered. "But move while you make them." He then swatted her rump. "Hyah, mule!"

Rarity froze, despite the pain of being of being swatted, and turned her head to glare at him. "Did you just call me a… _mule_?" she hissed angrily.

Rover blinked and had a nasty feeling that he'd just screwed up. "Ehh…"

"Mules are ugly," Rarity said angrily as her eyes began brimming with tears. "Are you saying that I too am ugly?" She then fell to the ground and she cried loudly.

Wondering what was going on, Spot came over and stared at the bawling unicorn. "What are _these_ noises?" he asked, confused.

" _He called me ugly_!" Rarity wailed.

"No!" Rover protested hastily. "Mule! I said mule!"

"An old ugly mule!" Rarity wailed, banging her hooves on the ground. "And it's true! Just look at me. I used to be beautiful, but, but nooow…"

Hearing this, Fido began protesting. "No, no! You're still beautiful, po… uh, Miss Rarity."

Rarity shook her head, still crying. "You're just saying that!"

"No, you're still pretty and… and…" Spot stammered.

"Oh, uh, uh, nice," Rover added quickly. "Yeah."

"I don't believe you!" Rarity wailed. "You never liked me!" And she kept wailing loudly.

Rover clamped his paws over his ears, trying to block out the wailing. "Oh, I've had just about enough of this!"

* * *

A/N: And that, darling, is how you make a Diamond Dog behave. Hehehe!

Sunrise Blossom: You had _way_ too much fun tormenting the Diamond Dogs, Rarity.

Rarity: I know! (giggles again) R&R every pony!


	4. Chapter 4: SPIKE TO THE RESCUE!

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: A Dog and Pony Show

A/N: Rarity here with the final chapter and I'm pleased to say that Dede42 is feeling much better and is currently taking a nap since she was just out with her client for her second job, and I'm actually borrowing Robin Hood's computer since Dede42 has locked up hers so that she can go over the changes that Timon and Pumbaa made to _Pride Lands Mayhem_ before replacing the story with the revised chapters.

Sunrise Blossom: Dede42 does like what they came up with, and she has a few ideas of her own, too. Also, Dede42 wants you all to know that she's going back over the Season 2 stories and the Season 3 stories she's written so far, and she's updating them to include the _Look Before You Sleep_ P.O.V. we did for me meeting our favorite meerkat and warthog.

Timon: (pops out of the trap door with Pumbaa) That's us!

Pumbaa: Hi!

Rarity: Yes, everything is under control here for the most part and I'm aware of what Spike wanted to do in that daydream of his. Believe, I know that our resident baby dragon has a crush on me, and I know that he'll be a good friend no matter how old he gets. So, no fear of any romance there, darlings.

Timon: Hey, where's the computer we were using last night?

Sunrise Blossom: Dede42 locked it up so that she can go over the changes with you guys on Monday since there won't be an update tomorrow.

Pumbaa: But I thought you two would be posting tomorrow, too. Did something change?

Rarity: Yes, unfortunately Dede42 has a closing shift at the movie theater tomorrow night and she won't have time to give us access to the next story, so that's why we'll be posting the first chapter of the next story today after we post this one.

Timon: Darn! I was hoping to post the revised version of _Pride Lands Mayhem_ today. Come on, Pumbaa, let's go check on Twilight Sparkle and see how she's doing with fixing our virtual safari trips.

Pumbaa: Ok.

Read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from _My Little Pony: Magic is Friendship_. I just own any and all characters that I just happen create.

* * *

 **CHAPTER FOUR: SPIKE TO THE RESCUE!**

While all of this was going on, Twilight Sparkle was leading the way down the tunnel, the spell revealing larger and larger amounts of gems, which meant that they were getting close to finding Rarity and saving her from the Diamond Dogs.

"We're getting close," she said confidently. "I can feel it." And they soon reached another cavern that had tunnel openings, plus an opening that was blocked by a locked door. Soon they could hear Rarity's distant crying.

Spike pointed to the blocked opening. "It's coming from down here. Come on!"

"She must be in there," Rainbow Dash agreed. "Let's go!"

Suddenly six guard dogs landed on the backs of the ponies, knocking Spike to the ground, and they wrapped ropes around the startled ponies' noses and mouths to create muzzles. "More workhorses."

"Hoh, doggies," said Applejack, who had no intention of being a _workhorse_ for anypony. "If you can take this bull by the horns, you better be ready for a ride." She then began bucking around and her friends were quick to follow suit. "Come on, ponies! Kick 'em up, kick 'em out. Buck 'em up, buck 'em down."

Soon all six ponies were bucking around the cavern like crazy, the guard dogs were clinging to them until they were sent flying to the ground with most of the makeshift muzzles, where they picked themselves up and fled, yowling in fear.

"Yeehaw!" Applejack cheered. "Get along, little doggies!"

Spike jumped back onto Twilight Sparkle's back, clutching a lance-like stalactite. "I'm coming for you, milady," he called out, grabbing hold of the rope that was still around her mouth. "Hi-ho, Twilight! Away!"

Twilight Sparkle fixed him with a look. "And just _what_ do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

"Please, Twilight," Spike requested. "Just give me this."

Twilight Sparkle sighed, deciding to humor the baby dragon. "Eh… fine." She then reared, neighing, and went charging through the locked door, smashing it to pieces, and their friends followed after them.

* * *

Soon, Twilight Sparkle smashed through another door and they entered the cavern. Spike jumped to the ground with his lance at the ready. "Lady Rarity, I'm here to save you!" he announced.

The Diamond Dogs came running toward them, screaming and they fell to the ground before the baby dragon and the ponies, pleading loudly. "Save _us_! Please, save us! Make it stop! Please!"

"Um, are they pleading?" Sunrise Blossom wondered.

Twilight Sparkle was equally confused. "Excuse me?"

"So picky," Spot moaned.

"And critical," Fido whined.

"She won't stop talking."

"And crying."

Rover whimpered as Rarity, still harnessed to a cart filled with gems, came into view. "We, uh, give her back," he said quickly. "Yes."

Spike ran over to the grey unicorn and hugged her, relieved to see that she was all right. "Rarity! You're safe!"

"Why, yes," said Rarity, slightly taken aback by the hug and greeted her friends. "Hello, girls. You arrived just in time to assist me."

"Assist you with what?" Applejack asked.

Rarity nodded to six other carts that were filled with gems and already had harnesses attached to them. "With those."

Spike stared at the gems and fought down the impulse to drool. "You're letting her leave with all these… jewels?" he asked the Diamond Dogs.

"Yes," said Rover quickly as he, Spot, and Fido dove behind a stone pillar to protect themselves. "Take them. And her with them."

"Please!" said Spot, watching as the Mane Seven and Spike left with the carts of gems.

* * *

It wasn't long before the Mane Seven and Spike were back above ground, and they were heading back to Ponyville with the carts of gems.

"I can't believe you found all these gems!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Heh. I can't believe you tricked all those dogs."

"Just because I'm a lady doesn't mean I cannot handle myself in a sticky situation," Rarity said smugly. "I had them wrapped around my hoof the entire time."

"I'm sure you did, Rarity," Sunrise Blossom commented, amused.

"I can't wait to write to Princess Celestia to tell her what you taught me today," Twilight Sparkle said happily.

Rarity glanced at her. "Me? What did I teach you?" she inquired.

"Just because somepony is ladylike doesn't make her weak," Twilight Sparkle explained. "In fact, by using her wits, a seemingly defenseless pony can be the one who outsmarts and outshines them all."

"Hm… "Outshines" is right," Spike agreed from his position in the cart that Rarity was pulling, munching on a ruby. "Now you have enough gems to cover Sapphire Shores' costumes."

Rarity chuckled and magically extracted the half-eaten ruby from his claws. "Not if you eat them all, Spike." And they all laughed as he protested and then pouted.

* * *

A/N: And that will teach those Diamond Dogs how to show respect to others. R&R everyone!


End file.
